Questions You Should Be Prepared To Field, If You Catch Part Of An Old James Bond Movie (With A Six-Year-Old)
February 21, 2011 6 Comments
- Is that a bad guy?
- Were those bad guys?
- Do they know that they are bad guys?
- Does she know that she’s with bad guys?
- Why is James Bond talking to the bad guys?
- Were bad guys in that [e.g., helicopter]?
- Why is the bad guy hitting the other bad guy? Does he want to turn good?
- Is James Bond married to that girl now?
- Does she not wanna be a bad guy anymore?
- Did all the bad guys fall down yet?
- Are all the good guys okay?
- Where are they now?
- But why did they go to [e.g., Italy]? I thought they were supposed to be in [e.g., Egypt]?
- Is that where the bad guys live?
- Are all the people in [e.g., red] uniforms bad guys?
- Are all the people in [e.g., blue] uniforms good guys?
- Why did they take off their clothes?
Answers, in order:
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- He’s pretending to be a bad guy so he can find out their bad plan.
- Yes.
- Good guys work together, but bad guys don’t always.
- No, they are friends.
- [if 1st half of film] No, she’s still a bad guy, and trying to trick James Bond. [2nd half of film] Yes, she wants to be a good guy.
- Almost.
- Most of them.
- [Name the country.]
- Because they found out the bad guys were hiding the [thing] in this other country.
- They don’t live there, but that’s one of their secret hideouts.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Because their clothes got all wet and they didn’t want to be cold.
(Based on The Spy Who Loved Me, but should work for almost all James Bond movies, with only minor adjustments.)
Okay, obviously we’re watching one with a “here comes the cavalry” ending, which narrows it down somewhat…unfortunately, my long-term memory is color blind. So I’m going to go with…Thunderball? It has nothing to do with Egypt at all, and I assume you’re just throwing that in as an example.
Was going to say Moonraker, but space isn’t wet…
D’Oh! You got it right there in the last line, and I missed it. Emily Litella moment.
But TSWLM doesn’t have a “here comes the cavalary” ending does it? He just goes in on a seacycle of some kind, fights Jaws, shoots the bad guy, rescues that horrible actress and drinks Bollinger in an escape pod. Right?
You probably didn’t miss it – I edited the post after the fact to clarify which movie this was based on, figuring that someone like you would show up & try to speculate otherwise
TSWLM has a ‘cavalry’ pre-ending in that (before the final confrontations with the main baddie & Jaws), Bond frees all the trapped submarine crews & they wage a pitched gun battle to take over the giant sub-eating ship & get control of the nuke control room. This is staged in a way that’s particularly convenient to the six-year-old mind, in that (because they’re all submarine crews) all the Good Guys wear blue. And all the bad guys, as it happens, wear red.
Still, it’s my just desserts for not reading the addendum.
Kid’s gonna turn out all right. You should do “Moonraker” next.
Ignore the Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan films. Sean Connery, George Lazenby and Daniel Craig are more worthy. They should remake the books as period pieces.
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