A ‘Progressive’ Economic Glossary

Just a helpful glossary to aid in understanding ‘progressive’ rhetoric in economic discussions. Many/most of these are obvious but it’s helpful to have them all in one place.

draconian (adj.): Label applying to any proposed changes to a government budget such that spending on one or more items would increase less quickly than ‘progressives’ had been hoping for and presumptuously counting on. President Bush proposed draconian cuts to Medicare.

smart (adj.): Simultaneously having a degree from a prestigious university and holding ‘progressive’ political views. Matthew Yglesias is smart.

externality (n.): The psychological discomfort caused to ‘progressives’ by others engaging in behavior that ‘progressives’ disapprove of. So many people driving automobiles rather than taking public transit creates an externality that should be remedied by Pigouvian taxes.

Pigouvian tax (n.): A tax on behavior that ‘progressives’ disapprove of (see externality).

market failure (n.): A free-market outcome, in particular market prices, that ‘progressives’ disapprove of. The fact that insurance companies won’t, on their own, insure folks with pre-existing conditions at modest prices is obviously a market failure, requiring government intervention.

(health) insurance (n.): Any complicated reimbursement plan for both emergency and routine health-care services that obscures their true cost, hinders price discovery, and interferes with free exchange of goods and services. Because you have good health insurance, you only owe a $10 copay for this checkup. You’ll just need to show your insurance card at Sav-on to pick up the Midol I’ve prescribed.

spending (n.): Any reduction in taxes levied on wage earners. Instead, my Republican opponents in Congress have proposed a new round of irresponsible spending.

unfair (adj.): (in taxation) Descriptive of any proposed change to the tax code that does not increase the first derivative of the marginal income-tax incidence function. Under my opponent’s plan, 55% of the net tax cut benefit would go to the top 50% by income, which is obviously unfair. I’m all for reforming taxes but we should only do so fairly.

stimulus (n.): Increased money, usually not funded by any attendant increase in revenue, that is allocated by government to items ‘progressives’ wish were funded, usually to be placed under the control of ‘progressives’ for disbursement. We support a stimulus to fund green jobs.

green jobs (n.): A category of employment properly viewed as belonging to the realm of mythology or fantasy, like the chimera, leprechaun, or centaur; jobs not tangibly observable in the real world but existing in the dreams of ‘progressives’. This recovery will be fueled by green jobs.

recovery (n.): By definition: the state of the economy when (a) the Presidency is held by a Democrat, and (b) the economy cannot plausibly be described as good. N.B. Need not be accompanied by any actual positive economic data or developments. Since Obama took office in 2009, we have had almost three years of slow but steady recovery.

unexpected, -ly (adj./adv.): Applies to any unambiguously negative economic data that is divulged publicly during the Presidency of a Democrat. Unexpectedly, nonfarm payrolls were way down last month.

the rich (n.): People whose income comes primarily from salaries earned via full-time jobs, or perhaps a small business, rather than from higher-class sources such as trusts/marriage/consulting/speaking fees/lobbying/investments/political connections in foreign countries/the entertainment industry (cf. Nancy Pelosi, Al Gore, John Kerry, Dianne Feinstein, Matt Damon), and thereby who – absent higher taxes – have enough modest net worth to e.g. qualify for a mortgage to purchase a reasonable house in the suburbs without necessarily getting help from their elderly parents on the down payment, but haven’t figured out how, or aren’t wealthy enough to, shield their income from taxation by means commonly used by ‘progressives’ (e.g. foundations). “We need to raise taxes on the rich”, said George Soros.

progressive (adj.): socialist.