10 Things I’ve Noticed About Non-Americans
October 25, 2011 9 Comments
A response to this list of “10 things I’ve noticed about Americans”, seen via Andrea Harris:
- They hate ice. It could be 105 degrees outside and their Coke could be served out of a lukewarm plastic 2L bottle that spent the last 3 hours in the back seat of a car parked in the Walmart parking lot. Nope. Don’t want ice. Don’t you DARE put ice in their drink. To be fair, some non-Americans are from extremely poor, backward countries (like France) and so perhaps being pathologically conscious the amount-of-fluid they are getting for their 75 cents, and zealously maximizing its volume (i.e. becoming frantic at the thought of some of it being displaced by frozen water), is just what comes naturally to them, given their deprived upbringing, etc. I shouldn’t judge.
- They think all Americans have guns and that it’s “easy” to get guns in America, despite never having actually seen an actual American with a gun. The principle at work here is, essentially, extrapolation from TV and movies. Just look how easy it was for Magnum P.I. to get a gun, for example. He had it right there in the opening credits.
- They are fascinated by Americans, and love to learn about them, talk about them, and collect facts about them. There is no end to the list of things that non-Americans could rattle off about Americans.
- Sorry I’m gonna have to cut the list short. Couldn’t think of anything else I’ve noticed about non-Americans. I’m sure there’s something. Maybe I should have spent more time researching this post.