The Smart People Test
January 30, 2012 29 Comments
Charles Murray’s idea of a class ‘bubble’ seemed better in theory than in the execution. For what it’s worth, I got a 5/20 (but that includes the cheapo Half-Sigma point for riding the SWPL-beloved NY-DC bus) on that test, adapted from a (slightly better) test in Murray’s book, both indicating that I’m pretty far into, but not in the top tier of, the ‘bubbled’/sheltered class that is culturally-isolated from mainstream America.
I think the problem is one of design. You have a test designed to answer ‘how mainstream are you’ and you’re giving it to a bunch of yuppies, mostly. Shouldn’t it go the other way? Shouldn’t we design the test for how isolated a person is? Positive answers will be outliers (not mainstream), and higher scores will indicate more isolation (not less).
But more importantly, isn’t Murray’s notion of ‘culturally isolated’ a bit…muddled? Let’s face it. We all know what we’re really talking about here. We’re talking about Smart People.
The how Smart are you test
Answer all questions to the best of your ability. Some answers are worth points. Any answers or answer combos not mentioned (including ‘huh?’) are worth 0 points. Count up your points.
- Ivy league? Went to one (or Stanford): 2 points. Didn’t, but work with >=3 people who went to one: 1 point.
- # of Malcolm Gladwell books read?: 2 or more: 2 points. 1: 1 point.
- Best TV show in history? The Wire: 2 points. The Sopranos: 1 point.
- Complete the sentence: “The science is ____.” Settled: 2 points. In: 1 point.
- (a) People drive too much (b) I live in a big city where a car would be superfluous: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point.
- What’s there to do in K-Town? Karaoke and Korean food: 2 points. Korean food: 1 point.
- Name a sport that’s on the decline. Baseball: 2 points. Other, besides basketball or soccer: 1 point.
- Zagat? Have it: 2 points. Know what it is: 1 point.
- I helped recommend my college friend for a job he/she got/got a job from a college friend’s recommendation. Both: 2 points. One: 1 point.
- Worse grades in college, Bush or Kerry? Bush: 2 points. I see what you’re doing there, but the premise of that question is flawed: 1 point.
- What’s the matter with: Kansas: 2 points. That’s a sentence fragment: 1 point.
- Good reason for private elementary school for your kids? I believe class size/personalized attention is very important, like [insert boring anecdote about your own kid]: 2 points. I researched a lot of average testing statistics that followed cohorts and there seems to be an X% effect with an R^2 of [bla bla]: 1 point.
- Bush’s Brain: Yes I saw that documentary, what about it?: 2 points. Um, is dumb/damaged? (duh): 1 point.
- (a) Approve of Obamacare (b) haven’t read it/pretty much don’t know the details at all: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point.
- Sarah Palin would be a terrible President because she’s: Dumb and crazy: 2 points. Crazy: 1 point.
- Name two Nobel Prize winners. Barack Obama and Paul Krugman: 2 points. Barack Obama and (someone else): 1 point.
- After she graduates from grad school you’d be most pleased for your daughter to get a job at a: Nonprofit: 2 points. Hedge fund: 1 point.
- (a) Believe in Anthropogenic Global Warming (b) know nothing about climate modeling and have never studied let alone engaged in anything of the sort: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point.
- Podcast: This American Life: 2 points. Other NPR-related: 1 point.
- Fill in the blank: ____ Diplomacy. Smart: 2 points. Cowboy (as in “Bush’s Cowboy diplomacy”): 1 point.
- Constitution and Obamacare: I don’t see how Obamacare can be unconstitutional: 2 points. I recognize the tension but I pretend not to and instead insist on arguing that Obamacare fits inside the Commerce Clause: 1 point.
- Alexander Payne movie: Sideways: 2 points. Citizen Ruth: 1 point.
- (a) Cities are great because of all the cultural opportunities, like the symphony/museums/etc. (b) Don’t really go to the symphony/museums/etc. Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point.
- A kind of tax we need more of: Pigouvian: 2 points. Value-added (or financial-transaction): 1 point.
- Who’s dumber, a PhD or an MBA? MBA: 2 points. PhD: 1 point.
25 questions. Max score = 50. To establish a baseline for you, if I answer these questions as generously (=max points) as possible, I get an 8. This scientifically means I am 16% Smart. How Smart are you?
Ok looking at these it sort of turned into a hybrid SWPL/Smart/Murray-bubble test. But so be it. Anyway post your scores in comments so I can collect some DATA. It would be Smart to have DATA.
How many points do I get for answering #20 with “gunboat?”
That’d be a 0. Thanks for playing
I think you’re at least %55-%60 smart so your test has to be tweaked.
It’s not a smart people test. It’s a Smart people test. Sorry for confusion.
no, no, just a typo lol. I did mean you’re about %55-%60 Smart. Or at least up there in the %40′s (come on, you know it’s true). Don’t kid yourself you’re just %17 or whatever. Good test now, just needs some tweaking.
But I don’t wanna be Smart! How depressing. How can I unSmartenify myself? Is there a hobby I can take up?
I sympathise but you can’t rig the test to get your desired ultra-low score. That’s the sort of trick Smart people pull and you wouldn’t want to be like them, would you?
I think I see a way out:
Add extra +2 points if you made up this ridiculous test.
That takes me, and me alone, to 10 points or 20% Smart, which is all I’m willing to concede. Deal?
You basically concede the principle (that your test is rigged for you to score low) and you’re trying to fix it except that by definition you’re biased. “2″ extra points? Heh, how about +30? And to save us the effort, we’ll settle on +15 making you almost %50 Smart (try to look at the glass half empty).
+6 best offer. That would take me to 28% Smart. I can’t get to 30% or above. Nothing with a 3-handle is doable here. Let me know,
No go. My people tell me %28 Smart is insulting even as a bargaining offer. Suggest %38 as a final settlement (not as a mere counter-move). Talk to your people. If they’re smart, they’ll say Done!
Repeat. If you see better away feel free to hit it.
%37, final offer
Pass.
This is brilliant. Keep up the good work
A suggested tweak: some negative points for behaviors one avoids because one knows they’re Smart.
For instance, I love the meat counter at my local version of Whole Foods, but I can’t stand to go there because I’d have to run the gauntlet of: Adbusters in the news racks, soccer moms who drove three blocks down here in their SUVs complaining about global warming, other soccer moms with all 2.3 kids in private academies bewailing the state of public schools, people who think I’m a jerk for pointing out that the Ben&Jerry’s they’re so self-righteously wagging in my face was produced by Unilever, university professors who drive Lexuses from their gated communities to preach Marxism at undergrads, etc.
Since being Smart involves knowing the Jedi Mind Trick behind this kind of colossal hypocrisy, “self-awareness” ought to be good for a point deduction or two….
I think the questions with an (a)-(b) construction typically are getting at (awarding points for) some hypocrisy or another.
You should have a point for being overly meta about the meat counter, Severian. Neither hippies nor Marxists nor agit-prop will stay me from my appointed grass-fed, free-range rounds of beef.
I got 8, unless it’s 10 for knowing (but not answering) the finish of “what’s the matter with…”
7 points here, although I was _frighteningly_ close to 6 more. (Should I be forced to collect “bonus” points for going through the test hunting for legalistic — sometimes borderline Pharisaical — ways to argue that neither of the choices applied to me, and thus I shouldn’t have to take the points from them? That seems like a very Smart Person thing to do…as does sitting here doing amateur game theory analysis on the test, which…well…yup.)
I made an honest 3 points on the test. I’m safe. Then again, I DO live in flyover country where folks believe that capable > Smart any day.
Surprised myself by scoring a 9 – I think that must be from answering a couple by reflex I’ve picked up from Smart people.
I scored 50 on Murray’s test, because I fit his profile of “first generation upper middle class with middle class parents” to a T.
How many negative points do I get for answering #6 with “Go to a Vols game”?
Generally we frown on negative points as that violates the spirit of the test. But since you mentioned the Vols I’ll go ahead and award a -1 penalty. Something involving baseball and strikeouts that I wasn’t clever enough to think up could conceivably get to -2…
Gunboat diplomacy is the best!
Who the hell is Malcolm Whatshisname?
Is Alexander Payne like Max Payne?
Nobody from College ever helped me with any job.
Alexander Payne is like Max Payne, except instead of being a gritty urban cop whose wife & kid were killed by Valkyr junkies as part of a plot to cover up the Valhalla project and who can fire guns while diving in ‘bullet-time’, he’s a guy from the Midwest who’s made a few arch movies mostly about white people concerns. But otherwise yeah, same-same.
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I “get” a lot of this just by osmosis because I live in and among the Peninsular BayAryans of the SanFranciscodine, surrounded by the Prius drives, and now Leafs – and I get my grass-fed, free-range beef at Costco where Stella is cheap.
I may almost have to give you a point for that.
I thought K-town was Kaiserslautern and answered .. Shop at the PX……