Romney’s Convention Speech: The First Fact-Checking

In a landmark here at RWCG, Inc., our staff has managed quite the coup: we have scored the first official Fact-Checking of Mitt Romney’s speech at the Republican National Convention. You will no doubt see many hundreds if not thousands of other Fact-Checkings, but never forget who was first! Let’s get right to it…

1. CLAIM: Mitt Romney should be made the next President of the United States.

THE FACTS: Barack Obama still has one term to go and still wants to be the President.

VERDICT: Lie.

2. CLAIM: Barack Obama has done a subpar job of managing the executive branch and does not merit a second term.

THE FACTS: That’s racist; Barack Obama is a black man. Also, as if that weren’t enough, George W. Bush was the previous President, which made literally everything terrible in such a way that no acts or decisions of a President in the subsequent four years can be held responsible for any bad outcomes.

VERDICT: Lie.

3. CLAIM: Mitt Romney loves his wife and children.

THE FACTS: Mitt Romney’s wife and children all seem like a bunch of spoiled, wealthy white people. Also, there is a notable lack of diversity among them.

VERDICT: Lie.

4. CLAIM: It would be a good thing if somewhat conservative, Republican-oriented polices were put in place.

THE FACTS: No, it wouldn’t. Those policies, if carried out consistently, are inadequately socialist.

VERDICT: Lie.

5. CLAIM: America is a great country.

THE FACTS: America is a terrible country that has done irrevocable harm to humanity, the earth, and the universe. In theory its wickedness runs so deep that it deserves to have Barack Obama continue to be its President forever, if that were possible.

VERDICT: Lie.

OVERALL SCORE: PANTS ON FIRE

Shame on you Mitt Romney. Shame.

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16 Responses to Romney’s Convention Speech: The First Fact-Checking

  1. Pastorius says:

    You are providing a valuable service here. I’ll bet the dhingers try to shut you down.

    • dhingers be haters

      • NotClauswitz says:

        And h8erz be dhingers!

  2. Anon. says:

    I think Obama needs to be re-elected because if the R’s win, they probably won’t shut down Gitmo and under a republican leadership, instead of Osama’s being killed on sight, he might have been put in prison where a female american soldier would probably have made him masturbate in undignified ways. Muslims terrorists should always masturbate in a dignified manner, facing Mecca.

    • Yah, when it comes to Muslim terrorist masturbation I’m pretty much a single-issue voter.

  3. TheSteelGeneral says:

    Repubes reall shouldnt attempt humor, stick to hate speech, you’re so much better at that

    • The sad thing is though, I’m *terrible* at hate speech. O how I try. Any advice?

  4. Jack Myswag says:

    5. CLAIM: This blog tried to be funny

    THE FACTS: It’s really not, it’s so unfunny, its a recipe to bring adhd kids down

    VERDICT: Lie.

    • Um (LOL) you totally messed up the numbering there (ROTFLLLOlLl). You were supposed to be on #6. DUMMY

      • Matt says:

        ADHD is the only explanation

  5. joshua says:

    Unlike your typically slanted presentation of the issues, I can tell you were presenting a helpful, independent, objective non-partisan analysis here because you used the word “fact-checking” and “fact-checking” always means all of those things. Thank you so much.

    • From now on I’m going to put the phrase ‘Fact-Checking’ in all my post headers, regardless of the content. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this before.

      • GomeznSA says:

        Easier way to do it would be to attach the statement ‘Approved by Fact-Checking’ – covers all bases…………..

      • Steve Johnson says:

        Is that “fully vetted” fact-checking or am I just confused about what does and does not need to be vetted?

  6. Pingback: Did Romney Accept? « Rhymes With Cars & Girls

  7. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2012/09/05 « Free Northerner

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