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As anyone who is as addicted to the febrent* writing of Matthew Yglesias as I am can attest, approximately 98.7% of his posts in the past year have been devoted to extoling the virtues of the NY/DC/SWPL salad, uh, place, “Chop’t” [sic].
(*Yes, I basically just threw this word in there not knowing what it means. But I made a mental vow to look-up whether it’s an actual word later so I could double-check it meant what I thought it meant. SPOILER: Not a real word.)
Intrigued, I set about studying Yglesiases’s writings with a hand-selected crack team of diverse, vibrant, 20something skinny-pantsed dark-haired homosexual Jewish American former baseball-stat number-crunchers. The findings are in, and based on studying them, I think I now understand what the Yglesionomy will look like in our golden, progressive Yglesiatopia.
I call it the Blogs & Chop’ts Economy.
As the name implies, in the modern economy of the future, which we should all happily adjust to, there are two basic kinds of people. The first kind is, you got your bloggers. These are people like Matthew Yglesias, who blog. Now say you’re a blogger and you’ve just come in to the office and blogged some blogging on your blog. But now it’s almost lunchtime, and you’re hungry, but not too hungry, like you want something light, like a salad the size of a bundt cake (but it’s a salad, so it’s light). What are you going to do?
That’s where the Chop’ts come in. You pause mid-blog, exit your office where you blog, walk (for exercise!) down the stairs of the mixed-use office building with the condos above or whatever, and (hopefully) there’s a Chop’t there on the ground floor with not too long a line, or if there is a line, at least it’s diverse. Then you order your $11.99 salad and get it chop’t up (or whatever they do there – never been) and then you eat it there with the other bloggers from your office. While there at the tiny table, you talk about what you’re all gonna blog after lunch.
But of course the solution is staring you right in the face: you blog about Chop’t! Because after all, Chop’t is an issue of primary concern to bloggers. You can blog about how Chop’t is cool. You can blog about its business model. You can blog things you don’t like about Chop’t or what they can improve or things that annoy you about it. You can make observations about society extrapolated from the people you stood in line with at Chop’t. And so on. (Really, from here the blog basically just writes itself daily.)
Suddenly now you’re really blogging. You’re blogging up a storm. But that’s because the whole issue of Chop’t really raises larger issues when you, the blogger, think about it. Economic issues. You start to wonder, and worry: will Chop’t always be there? How are its employees doing and do they have ”healthcare”? You don’t know, but you sure hope so. How does Obamacare affect Chop’t? Like if they go from 40 hours down to 29 will you still be able to get your Chop’t as fast? Will Chop’t still catch on and spread elsewhere (like if you get sent somewhere else on a business trip) if we raise taxes by X% instead of only Y%? (You certainly hope so, but if not, you can use that as a jumping-off point to blog about how you’d settle for Y% as a compromise.)
Now I should probably mention the other kind of person in the Blogs & Chop’ts economy: Chop’t employees. Because someone’s got to feed the bloggers right? If you trace the capital flow, it goes like: the bloggers take their money (the money that is produced from blogging) and give a little of it to the Chop’t employees at lunchtime, and right there – well there you go – that’s a sustainable economy right there in a nutshell.
Now, BEFORE the peanut gallery pipes in with their nit picky objections (don’t write letters!), NO I am not oversimplifying. Yes yes I know that Bloggers and Chop’ters are not literally the only kinds of people in the modern economy. DUH. These are just useful categories.
For bloggers I could have said knowledge workers. You know, people who are Smart. They use their Knowledge to Work (blogging or something very much like blogging) and that’s how they get their money. Because Knowledge Work like that is worth the big bucks, as we all know. But of course, some of these people don’t blog, they make apps (like, for example, an app showing the nearest Chop’t), or they build statistical models of the electoral college. Whatever. There’s plenty of Knowledge Work that needs doing. So indulge me and let me just denote all these people by the catch-all term bloggers.
And then for Chop’ters I could have said service workers. Little is known about them among Smart People like myself. But I know they’re there and we need to make sure the Economy has them. Because again, how else are we going to have Chop’ts to eat at? You see that right? I’m just being practical. But anyway, whatever the details, whether the Service we’re talking about involves Chop’ting our salad or making our fancy cupcakes or working at the Target or whatever, I’ve chosen to sweep this sector into the catch-all term Chop’ts.
So there you have it. It all makes sense. The Blogs & Chop’ts Economy makes total sense to me. Like a vision it has flashed into my mind and now I see it wherever I go. If you’ve gotten this far in the post, then maybe you will too.
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