Prometheus Review
June 24, 2012, 10:54 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


First, I’m really mad that the scientists just took off their helmets and touched aliens and stuff. That’s not science! Scientists in those scenes were supposed to do a whole bunch of stuff differently. And since they didn’t, that rendered me completely unable to enjoy the movie.

Then, there was the fact that Charlize Theron ran in one direction rather than another when something was going to kill her. When I go to see a movie, with Charlize Theron, and something about to kill her, I want to see her running in the right direction not the wrong one. That’s enjoyable to me. Seeing her run in the wrong direction? Is just not enjoyable.

But from a broader point of view, the problem with Prometheus is that it didn’t answer all of my questions for me, about life, the universe, and everything. I have lots of questions like: where did we come from, what is our origin, is there life out there, how did the universe form, what’s outside the universe, etc. etc. Naturally when I heard that British movie director Ridley Scott (White Squall) was making another science-fiction movie set in the ‘Alien’ universe (in which ‘xenomorph’ aliens have eggs that lie dormant for who knows how many thousands of years, and then infect a host, and then hatch to become one kind of thing, which then morphs into another thing, all apparently asexually, and of course with acid blood) my two baseline expectations are (1) absolute scientific plausibility & accuracy, and (2) that it will literally answer all of my existential question for me about life, the universe, and everything. But it did NOT.

And so that is why Prometheus was bad. If other reviews are any indication, I have a lot of company in this verdict, which gives me confidence that it is the correct one.

**EDITOR’S NOTE: I have not actually seen Prometheus yet.

2 Comments so far
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You forget to mention the Grandma panties.

That was a let down.

Comment by Pastorius

[…] my sarcastically-conveyed doubts and naysaying at the time, it turns out all the griping about the film was basically on […]

Pingback by Prometheus belated review « Rhymes With Cars & Girls

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