If I ever make a movie
December 9, 2012, 11:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

If I ever make a movie, it’s going to start with a white-on-black placard announcing that this film adheres to the “Dogme 95 Manifesto”.

But then once the movie starts, I’m gonna have it violate the hell out of that shit.

I’m gonna use dubbed voices, artificial lighting, crane-mounted cameras. Voice-overs. Tricky editing. There’s gonna be green screens and CGI all over the place. Especially CGI. I’ll use CGI where it’s not even needed, like, if a guy’s kitchen doesn’t have a toaster in it, I’ll just CGI that sucker in there.

And here’s the kicker, the guy never even uses the toaster at all!

And then at the end after all the credits have rolled, I’ll show “Dogme 95″ again just for the hell of it. I may even give “Special Thanks” to “Dogme 95″.

Because really, what are they gonna do? Nothin’ that’s what.

2 Comments so far
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Not only will I go see this movie twice, I’ll pay extra for the 3D.

Comment by Fake Herzog

Yeah, I forgot to mention the 3D. It would TOTALLY be in 3-D! The first 3-D Dogme film – historic.

It would also be in Sensurround and Smell-a-vision BTW.

Comment by Sonic Charmer

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