I’m so out of touch with the Pirates of the Caribbean film series
December 14, 2012, 7:35 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I turned on the TV and there was a Pirates of the Caribbean movie going on and it was showing the Legolas character talking to the Keiera Knightly character as if they barely knew each other and they weren’t on a pirate ship or anything yet, so I thought ‘hey this must be a flashback to, like, the time they met back in England before all that pirate stuff. This is really interesting. There’s even stuff about Class going on here. Like how Class gets in the way of people having sex with each other (at least for 20 minutes or so) even though they totally should be. That’s totally topical and sociological, I never knew the Pirates of the Caribbean movies got this deep or serious, I wonder if this was one of the later ones and it was directed by, like, Alfonso Cuaron or Alejandro Inarritu or Pedro Almodovar or some other Spanish guy’, but then Johnny Depp appeared and I realized No, this is just the first Pirates of the Carribean movie and that’s just how it started, and I felt stupid but also felt gypped.

How did that whole Pirates of the Caribean series end up anyway? Did they ever solve the thing? Cuz I think I’ve seen something on the order of 2 of those movies but for the life of me can’t remember a thing about them aside from Johnny Depp prancing around in eye makeup. Also, Keiera Knightly has a face like a frying pan and a neck that looks like the wind could snap it, has anyone ever told her in a sarcastic voice, “skinny much?”

4 Comments so far
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I have a rule against watching Jerry Bruckheimer movies, which I highly recommend to others. It has saved me from more than a few wasted hours.

Comment by RPLong

Solve what thing?

Comment by Pastorius

I dunno. Whatever those movies are about. I assume it’s some thing.

Comment by Sonic Charmer

I only saw the first one. I thought it was way too long.

Comment by Matt

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