If the sequester goes through, will our elite standing full-time 24/7 force of loose-nuke-chaser-downers still chase down loose nukes?
February 20, 2013, 4:49 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Or will they stop mid-chase?

I await the crack reporting of Ezra Klein on this highly pressing issue.

8 Comments so far
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How many loose nukes do you suppose are out there? If someone were to use a loose nuke to blow up DC, how should we feel about that? Cause, you know, on the one hand…

Comment by Matt

There are apparently a dozen, at least, loose nukes floating around at any given time, needing and waiting to be ‘tracked down’. I haven’t figured out whether this is due to some geological process that regularly produces ‘loose nukes’ naturally (say at the bottom of the ocean?) or whether nukes, as physical manmade objects, just have a greater-than-average tendency to spontaneously become ‘loose’.

What we do know is that it’s enough of a problem requiring so much manpower that the collective salaries of the Loose Nuke Down-Tracking Squadron constitute a noticeably-large budget item as a % of total federal outlays. (Otherwise it would make no sense to talk about them at all in national discussions.) But paradoxically, despite this importance, in any given budget-constrained situation, those salaries are, by tacit agreement or perhaps Constitutional diktat, the very first thing to get the axe. (Which is why I’m surprised I haven’t seen them mentioned in ‘sequester’ discussions.)

HT: Ezra Klein, whose reporting has been invaluable to my understanding of these matters.

Comment by The Crimson Reach

Hmm, I think it’s only natural that the loose nuke finders would be some of the first on the chopping block. I mean, it seems important sure, but imagine if for example PBS experienced an interruption in service or Planned Parenthood didn’t receive its government funds for the day and had to give out 10% fewer free abortions as a result. As you can see, as important as loose nukes are they pale in comparison to these other constitutional obligations of our government.

Comment by Anonymous

That was me btw. Clearly I lack commenting skills. I think that may be why my loose nuke tracker application was rejected

Comment by Matt

Loose nuke hunters is just the federal equivalent of closing the municipal pool during the summer if the city has to cut spending 5%.

Did you see the real federal equivalent to closing the pool? They’re going to close the Grand Canyon!

Comment by Mike

Good analogy

Comment by The Crimson Reach

How many nukes would a nuke hunter lose,
If a tight nuke could get loose?

Comment by Leonard

I think most of the panic about the sequester is that if it happens, within a few short months everyone will realize that life will go on pretty much as before, the government really doesn’t have to spend all this money that it doesn’t have. And that would, of course, be the worst part of the tragedy.

Comment by Nick B Steves

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